


Dealing With Disaster

by Maiasaura



Series: You Feel It Too Universe [2]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, POV Multiple, POV Second Person, tie-in fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-01 21:38:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12713445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiasaura/pseuds/Maiasaura
Summary: Tie-In Drabbles to "You Feel It Too" where I explore situations from other POV's.Drabble One: Steve & Dustin Discuss Mike's Mental HealthDrabble Two: Hopper, Joyce, Nancy, and Dustin tell Karen & her parents what the heck has been happening





	1. We Have To Talk About Mike

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not going to go overboard with these; they're just so I can explore certain situations from other points of view. They'll all be short and sweet, and there won't be a lot of them.  
> But, multiple people think it's a good idea, so here's the first one!
> 
> Feel free to request anything, I can't guarantee I'll do it, but I'm open to requests for these.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning for References to Self Harm & Suicide

**N O V E M B E R   4   1 9 8 4**

**D U S T I N   H E N D E R S O N**

“Steve?”

You’re walking along the train tracks, leaving meat everywhere you go, just walking silently together.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Er… Can I ask you something?”

“Odd time to do it, but sure.”

“Has Nancy ever talked to you about Mike?”

“ _No,_ she’s _never_ mentioned her brother to me, ever,” Steve snorts, rolling his eyes and continuing to walk forward.

You groan.

“I’m serious, man. I mean like, personal stuff.”

“I know Mike’s favorite flavor of ice cream is, in fact, cookie dough.”

“Fuck you too, man, you’re really no help at all – “

“You’re going to have to specify, shithead.”

“I mean like, about what Mike has been going through this past year, you know?”

“I know about El, yeah. I know he’s been…”

“A ball of sadness?”

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Um…” you grimace. Steve turns around, giving you a look.

“Kid, you’re going to have to use your words. You know those, right?”

“Fuck you.”

“Seriously, what are you going on about?”

You stop on the tracks, just looking at each other.

“Okay, this is really hard to talk about. The party and I have been fucking avoiding the topic for months before we finally got to talking about it in fucking August, so _excuse me_ if it takes me a while to tell you.”

You’re so angry you feel your fingers clench up into fists.

You don’t even want to to _think about this!_

You just want to focus on Dart…

“Kid, you’re starting to seriously freak me out, and we’re in the middle of a Monster Movie right now.”

You kick some rocks.

You just want everything to be _better_.

Fuck.

“So like, sometime in May, my friends and I… we noticed Mike had a bunch of blood on his clothes.”

Steve turns around sharply, looking at you with wide eyes.

“And we started to notice he had like, bright red lines all over his wrists? And there kept being more of them,” you mutter, each word coming out of your mouth like your new teeth were being pulled out one by one.

“Shit…”

“And he kept making them, but none of us wanted to say anything to each other, until August when like, he just looked _sick_ , right? Like, pale and weak and shit…”

“Why the fuck didn’t you say anything before?” Steve shouts.

“What the fuck were we supposed to say?” you roar back, “How are you supposed to _deal_ with something like this?”

Steve looks at you, not saying anything really, just shaking his head and holding his face in his hands.

“So I was wondering if Nancy knew anything,” you finally mutter, quietly.

“She hadn’t really… she mentioned like, _once_ , that Mike was really depressed, but that… was also in August,” Steve mutters, his eyes widening with realization.

“Do you think he tried to kill himself?” you whisper.

“I’m not sure. I feel like if that’s what was going on, Nance would have… actually done something? About it…”

You swallow and kick up pebbles.

You remember the cliff.

You walk forward, not really saying much of anything at all.

“Kid, I’m going to need more explanation for things than this.”

“What more do you _want_ , man?”

“You dropped a giant fucking bombshell on me and then moved on to our merry monster luring like nothing happened!”

“What the _fuck am I supposed to say?_ ” you scream, your voice echoing in the forest, birds flying up into the sky.

You take off your hat and throw it on the ground, now pacing in a circle.

“Do you want me to say that Mike’s had moods like this his whole fucking life but before last year we could usually get him out of it with Dungeons and Dragons or like, just fucking going to a movie?”

“Kid –“

“Do you want me to say that Mike started to spiral when Will disappeared last year and we all just kept trying to distract him and that El was a big part of that?”

“Kid –“

“Do you want me to say that when things looked fucking bleak and some bullies were threatening me Mike _literally threw himself off a cliff_ rather than figure out another way to deal with it and I’ve been trying to figure out if he legit wanted to die or not ever since?”

“Dustin –“

“Do you want me to say that every time I see more lines or blood on his clothes I want to fucking throw up and I actually did once when I saw a blood stain on his room floor that he cleaned up badly?”

“Dustin –“

“Do you want me to say that I know he fucking calls El like every night and that _can’t_ be healthy for him but I’m never going to tell him to stop because what the fuck am I supposed to do, man, what the fuck am I supposed to do –“

“DUSTIN –“

“WHAT?”

“Dustin, fucking _breathe_ ,” Steve says, dropping everything and holding you by the shoulders.

You only realize now that you’ve been panting like a maniac, and that everything is tense, and you haven’t breathed right for a while, and that you’re crying and sick to your damn stomach again –

“Shit. Shit fuck. Fucking shit,” you whisper, leaning over and holding your head in your hands.

Steve holds you steady as you keep breathing in and out, in and out, in and out. Your nausea remains, but at least you can see straight now. You straighten up and look at Steve, swallowing.

“Did you kids come up with, I don’t fucking know, _any_ sort of plan?” Steve asks.

“We’ve been putting off doing it, but we wanted to talk to him about it, yeah,” you mutter.

“Why have you been putting it off?”

“I don’t really know. After August we just all sat down and we talked and we realized we had to talk to him about it…” you frown, “And we kind of decided to talk to him if he looked really bad again?”

Steve nods.

“But he never looked… _that_ bad again. And so then we decided in early October to just sit down with him because we knew he was still doing it. But like… fuck, then all this stuff happened? With Will, Dart, and Halloween? And it all just went to shit and I guess now we’re just never going to talk about it?” you ramble.

Steve nods.

“Okay… shit, but okay.”

“Do you think Nancy knows?”

You look at each other for a long time.

“I think it’s probably impossible for her not to,” Steve mutters, “And she has been… shaken up. Lately.”

“More than usual?’

“Fuck off, man.”

“Sorry…”

“Yeah, more than usual, shithead. Since August. I think she found out then… whether he tried to kill himself or not, she found out then.”

You nod.

You want to vomit again.

Stupid fucking weak stomach.

Or exhaustion.

You don’t really remember the last time you slept.

“I think we should come up with a plan tonight, for when… if… we get out of this,” Steve pauses, “Cause you’re right, the kid can’t keep doing this.”

Steve turns away and starts walking down the tracks again, muttering swears to himself. You follow him hurriedly, watching him as he just keeps muttering.

“Sorry,” you whisper after a while.

“Sorry for what?”

“For putting all this on you.”

“Kid, it’s good that you did. Don’t apologize.”

“But –“

“Don’t fucking apologize, man. You guys are thirteen, you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. Depression is deep shit. You needed to tell someone. Especially when it seems like the kid is a fucking suicide risk.”

You nod.

You breathe easier.

Steve isn’t an adult, but he’s close enough to one that you feel… better.

Like maybe this can be fixed now?

Yeah.

“So who knows?”

“What?”

“I mean, who knows? Just you and your nerdy friends?”

“Yeah, and Nancy, probably.”

“So the Chief – Mrs. Byers, Jonathan – they don’t know?”

“Nope.”

“Okay. I think we should tell them.”

“Fuck no –“

“Dustin, seriously, it’s good you told me, but I’m fucking eighteen and have known like, a grand total of three people who struggle with this in my life. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

“Who were the three people?”

“Nosy, much, dickhead?”

“Sorry.”

“If you’re wondering, ‘is one Nancy,’ fuck, yes it is Nancy, you idiot.”

“Right…”

“She’s not as bad as Mike but she got fucking fucked up after the whole mess with Barb last year.”

“Right.”

“And that’s all I’m going to tell you about it, because fuck, she actually talked to me about it and we… were… trying to fix it, it’s not like with Mike where he won’t tell anyone and requires a fucking intervention,” Steve snapped.

“Gotcha, okay, sorry, I’ll drop it.”

You keep walking in silence, your heart still at the bottom of your stomach.

“Steve?”

Steve lets out a long sigh.

“Yeah, kid?”

You struggle to get the words out, so you just keep walking, dropping meat on the ground.

“Kid, what is it?”

You stop again, and turn around, biting your lip.

You know you’re going to cry but you have to say it anyway.

“Er… er… um…”

“Spit it out, Jesus.”

You start sobbing, sitting down on the tracks and holding your head in your hands.

“Shit – Dustin –“

You curl up in yourself, just crying against your knees.

“Dustin, what the hell –“

You take a few deep breaths and look up at Steve again.

“What if we can’t help him?”

Steve sits down next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“We’re going to do everything we can.”

“B-but what if we can’t?”

“Don’t think about it like that, kid. It’s not healthy.”

You sob more, and hold your face in your hands.

“Look, we’re going to do something, and that’s what matters. I know it’s scary. But let’s focus on, like, the monsters that are attacking our town, eh?”

You snort.

“Yeah, sure. That’s scarier.”

“I mean, it should be, kid.”

You just shake your head.

“I don’t know… how… him…”

“You don’t know what?”

You stare out in front of you, into the trees, just trying to breathe again.

You would never have said you had a “problem.”

All in all, you’re a happy kid.

“I… don’t know how… if he… if he dies… I don’t know how it’d… affect me…”

Steve sighs.

“Yeah, I feel you, kid.”

“What do you mean?”

Steve swallows and frowns.

“I said I’ve known a grand total of three people with depression.”

“Okay…”

“Nancy, an acquaintance at school I don’t talk to much, and my older brother.”

“You have an older brother?”

“Had.”

Silence fills the air.

You just look at him, expecting to say… anything.

“I was young. I didn’t really… know what was going on. Younger than you. We’re talking eight.”

“How old was he?”

“Fourteen.”

You nod, biting your lip again.

You like to do that because you like to feel your teeth, sometimes.

It’s comforting.

“What… happened?”

Steve shrugs, looking away, “I dunno. I don’t remember much of it. Our parents aren’t the best, so they fought a lot in front of him. He didn’t do well in school. Not very smart, my family.”

“Oh come on –“

“Don’t derail me, man –“

“I didn’t push you off the tracks!” you joke, despite yourself really. Steve just turns to you and looks at you for a long time.

“You have _got_ to be shitting me right now.”

“I never miss an opportunity for bad jokes.”

“Now? During _this_ story? _Really?_ ”

“I needed to lighten to mood!”

“YOU DON’T LIGHTEN THE MOOD DURING THIS!”

“Sorry, sorry! Keep talking!”

Steve just shakes his head for a long time, before holding his face in his hands. He then looks up at you, sighs, and continues.

“He was flunking out. Parents screamed at him to shape the fuck up every other day.”

“So…”

“All I remember is him being sad like, all the fucking time. I’d try to get him to play with me and he’d basically tell me to fuck off.”

“Shit, man, I didn’t know –“

“Yeah well I don’t talk about it. My mom found him. He’d drunk himself to death.”

You wrap your arms around Steve and hug him before Steve can say anything.

“Shit, kid, get the fuck off me –“

“No.”

“Fuck, kid –“

“I refuse!”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me right now.”

“You need a hug.”

“Let me decide that one –“

“YOU NEED A HUG!”

“I hate you.”

“I hate you too.”

You let go, wiping off your eyes and looking at him. Steve was crying, too.

“Ever since then my parents have just been distant. Absent all the damn time. They figured being too involved is what made him kill himself, so now they just leave me the fuck alone.”

You nod.

“Why does no one talk about this?” you ask, “Hawkins… nothing happens here.”

“It was when I didn’t live here, idiot.”

“Oh.”

“Do you honestly think my parents would want to live in the house where their son killed himself? Fuck no. We moved like, half a year later.”

“Gotcha.”

“And we don’t talk about it, so I’d appreciate you keeping this to yourself, dipshit.”

“Got it.”

“I’ve only told Nancy, that’s it.”

“Understood.”

“I’m serious –“

“How many times do I have to fucking acknowledge this? Geez!”

“Alright, alright.”

Steve frowns, looking forward.

“I don’t remember much about him, because I was a little kid. So I don’t… I don’t know how to help with depression, and I don’t really… I don’t really know if I can talk about how fucked up it’s made me.”

“Fair.”

“So don’t push me –“

“Am I pushing you?”

Steve sighs.

“No. I guess I’m pushing myself.”

He stands up, looking at you and offering you a hand up.

“If the worst happens, we’ll get through it, alright? But until then, you’re not allowed to think about it.”

You nod.

“Got it.”

“I’m serious, kid.”

“I promise –“

“I don’t want you to get depressed too. We don’t need two depressed kids on our hands.”

“I’m fine, I swear.”

Steve clasps you on the shoulder, and you both go back to spreading meat on the ground.

You do admit it.

You feel a bit better.

Not perfectly.

But, enough.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ngl I didn't expect to give Steve that backstory it just... kinda... happened?
> 
> Anyways, I work for comments and kudos. Thanks!


	2. We Need To Talk About Hawkins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning for references of self-harm, attempted suicide, and underage drinking

**D E C E M B E R   1   1 9 8 5**

**J I M   H O P P E R**

Let’s be a police chief back in your hometown, you thought.

It’ll be quieter than New York, you thought.

You’ll be able to get over the death of Sarah, you thought.

Eventually you’ll move on from Diane.

Get some peace.

Get some quiet.

Get some perspective.

Start, for better or for worse, a more peaceful chapter in your life.

Not have to find your ex-girlfriend’s missing son.

Not have to go into a weird alternate dimension to find that boy.

Not have to drive that boy to therapy all the time.

Not have to take in a telekinetic girl and raise her completely in hiding.

Not have to try and fix that boy and find tunnels underneath the ground.

Not have to run away from monsters in a lab.

Not have to fight monsters off while that telekinetic girl saves everyone.

Not have to deal with an entire group of mentally ill kids, teenagers, and adults, including yourself, try to actually be normal human beings after everything that happens.

But nooooo.

All that stuff _had_ to happen.

And you _had_ to have an even tougher life in Hawkins, Indiana than you ever did in New York City, New York.

For fuck’s sake.

Why did everything just… keep… happening?

You let out a loud cough and walk up to the small house, looking over and seeing a mezuzah on the doorpost.

You let out a long sigh.

“You can do this,” Dustin says.

“Kid, I don’t know why you’re with us,” you grumble.

“Because you probably should have someone who knows what the kids know with you and Jane’s with Mike,” Dustin says seriously.

“That’s why we brought him, Hop,” Joyce says next to you. You heave your shoulders tiredly.

“Fine. Nancy knows we’re coming?”

“Yes,” Dustin says.

You ring the doorbell.

Here goes nothing.

“Hello Chief – oh, and Joyce and… Dustin?” Karen opens the door, frowning.

“Hi. Nancy should have… uh…” you falter.

“Yes, I knew you were coming, but not… Joyce and Dustin. Anyways, come in, come in,” Karen says, walking further into the house. You all follow her, going to sit down at a long table where Karen’s parents are already sitting.

“David, Sisel,” you greet as nicely as you can. They both nod at you.

“So,” David says, leaning forward in his chair, “You’ve come here to talk about Michael.”

“Er… yes.”

“And why he’s in the hospital for, of all things, trying to kill himself,” David continues, looking angrier and angrier with each word. He starts swearing under his breath in a language you can’t understand (so you assume it’s Yiddish).

“Yup.”

“Well, get on with it,” David snaps.

“Dad –“

“I’m sorry, Karen, I am, but I am not here for all this waiting around.”

“Yes,” you agree, “Okay. Um.”

You look at Nancy, Dustin, and Joyce worriedly. They all look back at you with similar expressions.

“The first thing you have to know is… uh…”

“This has been going on for a very long time,” Dustin says quietly.

The three Levinsons look at you, glaring.

It’s intimidating to say the least.

“Mike’s always been… prone to getting really, super sad. I’m not talking like, normal sad here. I’m talking barely wants to move at recess sad. We usually could all cheer him up with games and just being ridiculous and eventually Dungeons and Dragons,” Dustin continues, not looking at them, “Bullying made it worse, of course. And yeah Mike would get some things where people thought he was gay, but mostly for him it’s been ‘cause he’s a nerd and like, visibly Jewish.”

David sighs heavily.

“And usually we could get him out of it eventually,” Dustin finishes.

“When did this first start happening?” Karen asks quietly.

“Probably second, maybe latest third grade?” Dustin asks.

Karen sighs heavily and holds her face in her hands.

“It didn’t help when I stopped really hanging out with you guys, did it?” Nancy mutters.

“No, not really,” Dustin agrees, “That’s when it started to get harder to get him out of these mood swings.”

“Okay, but something clearly changed,” David says.

“Yes, something must have happened to cause this… spiral,” Sisel frowns.

You look over at Joyce and she looks back at you. She nods at you, quietly, and you take a deep breath.

“Do you remember when Will went missing?”

All three of them nod.

“Well, it wasn’t what the police reported, or the newspapers, or any of it,” Joyce says.

“It was…” you take a deep breath, “Well, frankly, I feel none of you are going to believe us.”

“But you have to try, Mom,” Nancy begs, “We all were a part of it.”

“Alright, sweetheart, I’ll try,” Karen frowns.

“We all will suspend disbelief,” Sisel agrees.

“Okay,” you take a deep breath, “Should we… all tell it together?”

“I think it makes the most sense as one story than as individual ones,” Joyce agrees.

“So… you know Jane?” Dustin mutters.

All three of the Levinsons give him a look.

“Okay, let me rephrase… Mrs. Wheeler –“

“Please call me Ms. Levinson now, Dustin.”

“Oh. Okay. Um, Ms. Levinson, do you remember the Russian girl that Mike hid in your basement for a week?”

“ _What?”_ Sisel shouts.

“Is Jane that girl?” Karen demands, looking furious.

“Um… yes, but she’s not Russian,” Dustin pauses, “Can you let us tell the whole story first, please, before you get upset?”

Karen frowns more, but doesn’t say anything.

“So… the Department of Energy has been doing more than… energy,” you say, grimacing.

“Essentially, they did something with drugs with some adults back in the seventies,” you continue.

“Fucked up some women and men who were already a little crazy,” Joyce says.

“This… lead to them having… psychic… children,” you say, grimacing.

“Suspension of disbelief,” Nancy reminds.

“The plan, I suppose, was to use these psychic children to fight against the Soviets,” you continue, “A new secret weapon, if you will.”

“Jane is one of those kids,” Dustin mutters.

“She can move things with her mind, and also find things with it,” you continue, trying to keep a serious facial expression even though you _know_ how ridiculous the words you’re saying are, “They’ve been… keeping her and the other kids locked up since they were babies, training them, and abusing them.”

“The program’s secret, so they can get away with it. They also stole the kids from their families, who obviously didn’t know the drug program they entered in the seventies would lead to them having weird kids,” Joyce grumbles.

“Yeah… So they were trying to get Jane to spy on the Russians. In the process she found this monster,” you take a deep breath, “So… they sent her back in to find the monster again –“

“Demogorgon,” Dustin says matter-of-factly.

You turn slowly in his direction and give him a long, long look. His eyes widen, and he shuts up.

“She found this monster, and in finding this monster got scared and accidentally opens a gate… in the universe… to where this monster comes from,” you grimace as each word comes out of your mouth.

Dustin holds up a piece of paper and folds it in half, “If this half,” he points, “Is our universe, and the other half is the other universe, then she basically did this –“

He punches a pencil through it.

“Doing this let the monster get free, and it took Will,” Joyce whispers, “Into that other universe…”

“The Upside-Down,” Dustin says matter-of-factly.

“It sounds stupid but the kids came up with this name and they have a point. It’s basically our universe, but… empty. And screwed up. And this monster control it,” you explain.

“Jane escaped the lab then,” Dustin says, “Because, well, she was terrified, obviously, there’s this monster and she opened a gate to another dimension.”

“So then let’s get back to Will,” Joyce mutters, “Basically…”

“I treated it like a usual disappearance, obviously. But… Joyce’s house was… weird. Weird sounds, weird electricity flashes –“

“I got a weird call with breathing and growling,” Joyce agrees.

“That night everyone was searching the woods for Will and so we went out too even though we weren’t allowed,” Dustin just in, “And out there we found Jane. She had a buzz cut then and basically couldn’t talk… um… and have you seen the number on her wrist?”

“I saw something there, once,” Sisel says softly, “I didn’t want to say anything about it –“

“It’s her ID number. She was known as Eleven,” Dustin mutters, “Mike took her to your basement and let her stay there…”

Karen lets out a sigh.

“So then he stayed home with her and we found out she was telekinetic which was… a fucking trip, to be honest.”

“That was the night of Steve’s party… um… where I had sex with him,” Nancy’s grimacing, “So… uh… Barb and I went there, and… Barb got taken by the Demogorgon.”

“ _Thank_ you,” Dustin says.

“You be quiet,” you snap.

“No,” Dustin says.

You just shake your head in utter annoyance.

“That night, I got another weird phone call, and my lights started acting… weird. And then the monster tried to get through from the wall of Will’s room to our house,” Joyce shudders.  

 “I started to investigate the Laboratory and found out that they’ve been doing weird stuff…” you mutter.

“And the next day I realized Barb was missing so I searched for her in the woods and the monster tried to get me,” Nancy sighs.

“My Christmas Lights were being… weird, lighting up in response to my words, and I figured out it was Will,” Joyce says, “So I hug them up with letters and Will told me to run, because… well, the monster came after me.”

“Jane lead me and Mike and Lucas to Will’s house and told us he was hiding there which basically meant he was in the Upside Down version of the house –“ Dustin says.

“And then the Department of Energy planted a body and claimed it to be Will in the quarry,” you grumble.

“I knew right away it wasn’t Will…” Joyce glares.

“And Jane then contacted Will in Mike’s walkie so we knew too,” Dustin agrees.

“I saw the monster that took Barb in a photo Jonathan took, so I knew something weird was going on,” Nancy grumbles.

“I figured out that the Lab was lying –“ you say.

“And I saw Will in the wall of my house, sort of like… an Opening to the Upside Down I guess,” Joyce sighs, holding her head in her hands.

“So I broke into the Lab and found the big gate to that place, and I finally told Joyce everything that was happening,” you just shake your head in bemusement.

“Meanwhile we’re trying to _find_ the gate,” Dustin says, “with Jane’s help, but she kind of… sabotauged us. Cause she didn’t want us to get hurt.”

“And I tried to find the monster myself with Jonathan,” Nancy continues, “I… trained myself to use a gun…”

“A _gun?_ ” Karen shouts.

“Mom, _please_ ,” Nancy begs, “And then I ended up in the Upside Down but I managed to get out…”

“Joyce and I found out about Jane and how she was taken from her mother, and then… well Dustin you might want to go next,” you say.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dustin agrees, “So Lucas splits from the party because he was mad at Mike for keeping Jane around. Jane then ran away and stuff. So Mike and I were talking about everything and these bullies cornered us cause Jane made one of them pee his pants. And the bully was threatening to basically mutilate my mouth so… uh…”

He wipes some tears out of his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Basically the bully was telling him to throw himself off the cliff to the quarry or he would cut up my mouth, so Mike… yeah. He threw himself off the cliff.”

“Oh my God,” Karen gasps, before holding her mouth behind her hand.

“This is when… I… uh… started to guess that Mike had… erm… suicidal urges,” Dustin whispers softly, “But… Jane saved him. With her mind, you know? Meanwhile Lucas had figured out the gate was at the Lab… and the people from the Lab had figured out Jane was with all of us and went to your house, Ms. Levinson –“

“Yes, I remember that,” Karen whispers.

“So we all ran away… Lucas too… on our bikes and everything. And Jane flipped a van, it was _super_ cool –“

“Not the point, kid,” you mutter, “But the bully that attacked them all came to the station and told me what happened, and I figured it was the psychic kid –“

“While this was all happening, Jonathan and I were prepping to fight the monster. We regrouped with Mrs. Byers and Chief and we tried to get ahold of Mike so that we could get Jane,” Nancy says.

“We all went to the middle school to build her a sensory deprivation tank so she could find Will,” Joyce says.

“And she did. She also found Barb, but Barb was… already killed by the monster,” Nancy whispers.

“So we went to break into the lab and I…”

One day you’d have to admit to everyone what you did.

How you ratted out the kids.

How you split up Mike and Jane.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How this was all your fault.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today was not that day.

“Joyce and I went into the Upside Down and found Will.”

“Meanwhile the evil guys had found us at the middle school –“ Dustin says.

“And Jonathan and I were trying to lure the monster with our blood to the Byers house so we could trap it –“

“ _Blood?_ ”

“Yeah we both cut our hands to lure it like a shark.”

Karen just lays her head down on the table.

David and Sisel look… horrified.

You press on anyway.

“So we were trying to get Jane out of there and she like, killed all the people trying to catch her by making them bleed out of their eyes and brains and stuff, but then the head guy – I guess he’s her dad or something? – found us and was going to take Jane away, but the Demogorgon was lured back over here by the blood, so we had to hide, and the Demogorgon was going to get us, but Jane managed to send it back into the Upside Down – I think she killed it? But she went into the Upside Down too,” Dustin said very, very quickly.

“So Jane managed to get back from the Upside Down and went into hiding in the woods, because she went back to your house, Karen, and tried to go back to Mike, but all of those officers were there,” you explain, frowning, “She lived in the woods for a while…”

“Meanwhile, Will… was contaminated. From the Upside Down. And he would… get flashes of it. All the time,” Joyce says, her voice coming out in chokes of emotion.

“And Mike was… depressed. Very depressed. Because he didn’t know if Jane was alive,” Dustin whispers, “He… had trouble getting out of bed and… was just…”

“Lost,” Nancy murmurs, “I’m pretty sure he was already in love with her then.”

“Nothing like meeting a girl who’s been abused her whole life and yet still is good and kind and sacrifices herself to save you and your buds,” Dustin shrugs.

Karen just groans into her arms.

“So he gets more sensitive to how people around him treat him and stuff… and he started… um… we think he started cutting himself in the early summer,” Dustin whispers.

“In January I took Jane in and hid her,” you admit softly, “So that the jerks at the lab couldn’t’ find her. But I wouldn’t let her talk to Mike. She just… visited him. In her head. And didn’t tell him she was there. She… she started drinking because of… how lonely she was.”

“For fuck’s sake, Chief!” David shouts, “You should have let her talk to him!”

“I know,” you admit, “Look, we don’t… need to go over it this much. I made a mistake, alright?”

“You made him worse,” Sisel mutters.

“He went through a traumatic thing – nearly losing his friend, being chased by a monster, losing someone he was falling in love with – and you _kept her from him?_ ” David continues.

“I fucked up! Can we finish our damn story?” you roar.

“Fine,” David mutters.

“In September,” Nancy sighs, “I found out he was hurting himself, because he did it… a little too bad.”

“Jane had visited him and seen it happen,” you mutter, “So I called Nancy and told her to check on Mike.”

“I… didn’t question it. I should have,” Nancy frowns at you.

“I’m glad you didn’t. I wouldn’t have answered your questions and Mike might have been more hurt,” you say.

David just glares at you more, as does Karen.

“So I… knew he was cutting himself then, but I didn’t do anything about it,” Nancy sighs.

“Soon after that, Will’s visions of the Upside Down got worse,” Joyce butts in, frowning, “And… he got possessed by… this shadow monster.”

“Mind Flayer,” Dustin mutters.

“Kid,” you sigh.

“And I found this little… tadpole thing. And I raised it,” Dustin says, moving on.

“Jane was getting… restless in the house. And I fucked up. So we had a huge fight and she essentially destroyed the cabin. But all the stuff with Will was going on…”

“Mike was actually distracted from his mental illness,” Dustin agrees.

“I was… upset. About Barb. And how her parents were still looking for her and spending too much money to do it. Frankly I wasn’t doing well either and hadn’t been for a while,” Nancy inhales sharply, “So Jonathan and I managed to record the Lab and we brought the info to Bauman as you know, Mom. We told him the truth, but we decided to call it a chemical spill so people would believe it.”

“The tadpole ate my damn cat and I realized it was a mini-Demogorgon,” Dustin groans, holding his face in his hands.

“Will was worse, he couldn’t handle heat at all and he kept…. Freaking out… because he was possessed,” Joyce looks pained.

“I was helping Joyce with Will and he drew the tunnel system that was poisoning all the crops in town…” you trail off, “So Jane ran away to her mom’s…”

“I managed to trap the Demogorgon – but it wasn’t like, a person, it was more like a dog, so Demo-dog – in the cellar…”

“Will managed to find me trapped in the tunnels but then the people from the lab tried to destroy the tunnels and it made him really sick…” you continue.

“So we brought him to the hospital, with Mike, and the Mind Flayer tricked us all by pretending to be Will spying on _it_ …”

“So the Demo-dogs attacked everyone and basically ate alive the lab and we managed to get out of there just in time –“

“They killed Bob…”

“So then we all had to defend ourselves because they found where we were hiding Will –“

“Then Jane came back and like, defeated them all for us, and she and Mike reunited and it was _wonderful_ –“

“Of course, then Mike found out I’d been hiding her and it was… not a great reaction…”

“So then we came up with a plan. Jane and Hopper would go back to the lab and Jane would close the gate.  I, Jonathan, and Nancy took Will to get the Shadow Monster out of him – basically we burned it out of him because it seemed to not like the heat –“

“Then Mike came up with the idea for us kids to distract the demo-dogs from attacking Jane and Hopper by burning the vine tunnels –“

“And I mean, it went well, we all did it, we all survived, and the gate is closed now, so in theory nothing bad should happen anymore,” you groan, “But… who knows…”

“So then Hop got Jane’s freedom because he saved the guy who replaced Jane’s… creepy dad… at the Department of Energy – like he saved his life and stuff –“

“But… Mike was getting bullied more at school… and Dad was being too hard on him… so his upward tick from being reunited with Jane didn’t last long…”

“Then that Camp basically killed his fucking spirit –“

“And High School was rough and he was failing History –“

“Then you and dad got divorced and dad basically blamed him…”

“And he tried to kill himself,” Sisel finished quietly.

“Yes,” you say.

You all stare at each other for a long time.

“How does Steve fit into all of this? And that new girl, Max?” Karen asks tiredly.

“Steve helped us fight off the Demogorgon the first year. The second year he helped the kids with the vine tunnels,” Nancy mutters.

“Max was added cause Lucas and I both had a crush on her and eventually Lucas spilled all the beans,” Dustin says.

Karen leans back in her chair and holds her face in her hands, before standing up.

“Jim, I’m fucking – you should have told me. Right away. The first year.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“I should have known he was dealing with all of this _immediately_. But instead I got frustrated with a… diffcult kid and a terrible marriage and –“

“You neglected him,” Nancy mutters.

“Nancy –“

“Mom, I’m sorry, but you did. You neglected him and he got worse and worse,” Nancy shouts, “And now this is the situation we’re all in!”

“You kids shouldn’t have been messing in all of that –“

“Oh give me a break, Karen, you dropped the ball,” David snaps.

“Dad –“

“You dropped the ball. Kids will be kids and they’ll meddle in what they’ll meddle in. And now they’re all too deep into all of this… insanity to separate from it,” David shakes his head, “We just have to support them all.”

“How is… Jane doing?” Sisel asks quietly.

“Not great, but she doesn’t want to admit it,” you whisper.

“So that’s the next shoe that’ll drop,” David says simply.

“Probably,” Dustin mutters.

“Well then. We better get Mike back to as normal as we can,” David continues, standing up, “Now – Jane closed the gate?”

“Yes.”

“So the Upside Down is cut off from us?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. What could be some consequences of her powers?”

“What do you mean?”

“Could she open the gate again on accident? Could she open a gate to another world? Could her powers make people sick? Could she _get_ sick from using them too much? Could she die young, go insane – any of these things?” David says.

“Not that we know of. Doc Owens thinks she’ll lead a fairly normal life, now that she controls her powers better,” you frown.

“Alright,” Sisel sighs.

“This is a right fucking mess, Hopper,” Karen snaps.

“Well, trust me, if I could have avoided fighting off the apocalypse my whole life, I would have!” you shout.

“Fighting about this isn’t helpful,” Joyce sighs.

“We just have to move forward,” Sisel agrees.

David runs his hands through his wispy hair, gets up, and starts pacing the room.

“I just wanted a better life for our kids and our grandkids,” he mutters after a while, “Not to be traumatized at a young age.”

“Well, you can’t change the past,” Sisel says brusquely, “All we can do now is go forward knowing all the facts.”

“I’m… just glad I understand now,” Karen mutters after a long while.

“Please don’t blame him,” Nancy whispers.

“No, we won’t,” David says immediately.

“He’s been very brave. I’m extremely proud of him,” Sisel agrees.

You smile weakly at that.

Karen still glares at you.

You know this isn’t enough to make up for your mistakes.

But, hopefully, you all can keep that kid alive.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was highly requested after the last chapter of YFIT so here it is? It's basically just an explanation of everything but it does lend some character insights so that's neat. 
> 
> Please comment!!! Thank you :) 
> 
> Also there's a discord server for people who like You Feel It Too (the story this is a drabble for): https://discord.gg/gSGvPrR I don't know how this happened but join uuuusssss


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